I like to debate a lot especially on things that I have strong beliefs on or things which I’m so passionate about. This includes my view on interracial marriages and I know where my feet are rooted.
From a young age and I'm open to new ideas and anything which provoks my mind. When the topic of marriage surfaces in any conversation I like to know what's the other person views on interacial marriages? I always rooted for it and even thought is best to marry outside my cast, country or even race. I was very naïve, very naïve. I looked at the world with its fully blown rosy perspective.
To cut a long story short, I was pro interracial marriages till I changed my mind 180 degrees. Don’t get me wrong, it’s such a beautiful thing to mix races and different backgrounds into one unique marriage. Especially when it’s evident that it eliminates many negative aspects such as racism, prejudice & stereotypes. I also understand that everything has its pros and cons but with such sensitive topic I have come to the conclusions that its cons outweighs its pros. How?
Well we all know that normal marriage has its own problems and there are far too many hurdles to overcome. But when someone takes the well to marry from someone with a complete mindset and who holds different beliefs whether it is culture or religion based then it’s a different story. Not only both couple would need to overcome their own marriage problems but also a host of other issues they might have been oblivious too.
Such couples usually tie the knot under the name of love and because they complete each other, which is fair. But during their pre-marriage period I can bet all they thought about is how marvellous their interacial marriage is going to be and how cute their X & O children are going to be. It's usually the younger generation who fall in this trap.
What they don’t understand is that you not only marrying an individual, you also marrying his/her family, culture, country and even religion if they’re not from similar religious background. This is where difficulties arise because you need to have a balance in everything you do in the future. Ever thought that your traditional outfit might spark a problem in your wedding night?
Of course other issues that worry me the most are the children of those who racially inter-marry each other. Would they ever have identity crisis? if yes, who's fault is it?
You might think I’m exaggerating but all I know is that it takes two strong individuals to take on this type of journey. It takes two open minded family in law. It takes couples who are neutral from any cultural prejudice. It takes a welcoming society. It takes two couples who absolutely adopt their religion [Islam] as a way of life. Only then all my assumptions will go down the drain. But do every two who marry interracially have all it takes? No. If they do are all these qualities all controllable? No. Which is why three quarter of these marriage are not successful. I think it only works with Muslim reverts because they’re totally out of the box. They’re neutral.
I would rather marry someone who is Somali; who understands me and values me; someone who would appreciate our culture and language, someone who would have the same interest as me for our future off-spring.
I admire every X and O who make through this together, they’re a source of inspiration. I encourage those who think they have what it takes to make a grass root changes in their society. I get demoralised when I see those who marry each other blindly and end up picking up the shattred dreams of their broken marriage.
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